Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
