No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
