you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
