i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize