Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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