Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
