bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
