the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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