Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
