So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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