Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
