yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
