Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
