I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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