peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
