Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize