She is in my trunk
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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