just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
