dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
