Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
