I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
