My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
