I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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