Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
