the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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