the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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