I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
