i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
