belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
