...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
