ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize