Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
