she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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