When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
