69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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