Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
