We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
