hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i don't like sucking hair
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
