Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
