Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
