Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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