best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
