It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
