My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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