hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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