My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
