Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
