Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
