Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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