Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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