And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
