Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize