Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
