Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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