I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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