he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
