She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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