I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
