why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize