after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
